Keys to Better Listening for Wants | Effective Listening Skills Training

As already mentioned, listening is more important than asking questions, and asking questions is more important than talking. Yet there is almost no training in listening for professionals. Here are three keys to help improve your ability to listen.

Listen Attentively

Picture this. As you arrive home, your child begins to tell you about an event that took place that day. You continue to change clothes, set the table for dinner, and so forth while your child continues with his important tale. Finally, exasperated, your child stops you, grabs you by the face, looks into your eyes and with total honesty says, “Please look at me when I’m talking to you!”

This scenario presents the perfect example of two keys to attentive listening: showing attention in behaviour, and in eye contact. What message were you sending the child by working on other tasks and not maintaining eye contact? Have you ever met with someone while they opened their mail? Not maintaining attention and eye contact is perceived as ignoring. And, ignoring is insulting.

Do you ever do this? When you are talking with someone on the phone, do you shuffle papers, type, or play video games? The other party knows that you aren’t listening, even though you may not be visible. (For instance, they can often hear the computer clicking.) What about when a staff member or assistant comes into your office. Do you keep working on what you are doing, or do you suspend what you are doing and make eye contact with your associate? Remember, if your associate feels ignored, he is insulted.

Pause before Replying

Some people speak immediately because they are just waiting for their turn to speak and are not really listening. Others respond fast because they think fast. In either case, it is not flattering to the speaker. Taking a second or two before you reply to the other person indicates that you are preparing a thoughtful response. This is a learned technique.

Prepare Good Questions

One of the best ways to involve your prospect is to ask good questions, and then carefully listen to the answers.

In preparing for a prospect meeting, it is crucial to develop your questions in advance. You should have some key questions that you can use in many situations. Others will be customized for each prospect. Preparing written questions enables you to focus on listening. If your mind is busy constructing your next question, you may miss the deep message your client is articulating.